Mothers Central Blog

OK, so my mom technically never went missing.
Yet she did “leave” me a few weeks ago, which led me to this post. Here, let me explain…

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I had a bad day last week. It was a long, never-ending day of errands, and appointments, and Valentine’s Day parties, and soccer games, and music classes, and… completing all the other things that I also do in any ordinary day.

Yep. ONE. LONG. DAY.

All I truly wanted to do was complain.
(You’ve had those types of days as a parent, right?)

And what I really wanted (as trivial as this may sound) was to feel validated for all the work that I was doing on that busy, run-around, live-in-my-car, barely-time-to-eat day.

But nobody wants to hear my complaints. Nobody wants to hear my ridiculous to-do list. And I’m confident that nobody (except myself!) is able to validate my need to feel valued and accomplished. Nobody really understands what I’m going through.

Nobody except for maybe…

My own mom.

So of course, what did I do? I picked-up the phone and called my mom – the only person who I am certain would listen to me complain without judgement. And immediately I felt just a little bit better. (Not stress-less, but better.) [click to continue reading…]

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For over a year now Mothers Central – the Parenting Blog of the National Association of Mothers’ Centers – has been working to deliver a new, original post every Thursday. (If you missed last Thursday’s post make sure you check it out here!)

So I know what you’re thinking:

It’s NOT Thursday! What’s going on?

What’s going on is good news… we have a winner! Two weeks ago we shared with you – our readers – a post titled: Life is Like a Box of Chocolates. At the end of the post we encouraged our readers to share the post and leave a comment to be eligible to win a box of Roni-Sue Chocolates.

I asked my own children to help me choose the winner. (I thought it would be a fun activity, and they wholeheartedly agreed!)

So without further ado…

The Winner is: Heidi!

Heidi is a Mothers Central reader from Pennsylvania. She has four children ages 1-8 and is also a regular contributor to babygooroo.com, covering current events in breastfeeding, parenting, and health as well as writing a regular feature column for the site called Parenting 104.

Congratulations Heidi! Thanks for reading and sharing our Mothers Central Blog!

A special thank you to Rhonda Kave – a Mothers’ Center alumni, former NAMC Board member, and also the owner/operator of Roni Sue’s Chocolate Shoppe – for her generous donation of a box of assorted truffles.

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Have you ever been struck with the feeling that something is missing or just not right – yet you can’t quite place what it is?

The other night my husband and I had this very feeling…
And we were shocked when we realized what was missing.

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Every once in a while it is fun to reminisce, and the other night (after all the kids were in bed) my husband and I decided to “reminisce” by watching our wedding video.

• I shook my head in remembrance listening to my childhood friend give a fantastic maid of honor speech.
• I drew a wide smile watching my impeccable aim as I smashed our wedding cake into my husband’s face.
• And I shed a few tears seeing babies (now grown) and friends and family members (some of whom are no longer with us) sitting witness to our vows.

We were just about to backtrack and watch our rehearsal dinner when without warning…   [click to continue reading…]

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~

[pinit]

Have you ever wanted to help a friend, family member or maybe even your own child during a difficult struggle, yet didn’t know how to help?

Often I want to reach over, give them a giant hug and tell them, “It’s OK! Everything is gonna be OK.” Yet more often then not, I hesitate… because I’m scared – scared that I might just make their hurt worse.

Yet this is what I’d really like to say:

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The other day, you were hurting.
I know, because I could feel it.
And your pain, your heartache, it hurt me too.

And now, you’re still hurting. And I still feel your pain.

I know you may not be ready to heal yet (because I understand that there are some hardships and struggles that only time can make better). Nevertheless, there is something I still want to share with you.

So, when you are ready… when you have the strength (even just an ounce) this is what I want you to know: [click to continue reading…]

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Note: On Wednesday, February 15th, the National Association of Mothers’ Centers will be hosting a webinar as part of their Parenting and Family Webinar Series entitled: Staying Connected: Maintaining the lines of Communication with your Teen. This upcoming webinar inspired me to reflect on those small moments in the present, where I’ve contemplated the future.

Do you ever wonder why it always seems like everyone always needs something from you all at the SAME time?

For example, lets take the time period after school:

• When your oldest child might need your help with a math question,
• At the same time that another child wants to play the Wii but can’t find the remote, AND
• Your toddler is screaming because he just needs to watch TV (and you’ve said “No!” for the 50-billionth time).

And of course any minute:

• The piano teacher is going to arrive (for your child who’s homework isn’t done yet because you haven’t had a second to helped them with their math question), AND
• 2 kids’ lunches are sitting only half-packed on the counter for school tomorrow,
• Oh, and dinner? DARN! Dinner! Dinner still needs to be started!

Then, right as you think you’ve finally figured out your child’s homework question:

• Your 2-year-old has a major poopy-diaper blowout,
• Just about the same time as there’s a knock at the door (the piano teacher has arrived), AND
• The phone begins to ring (most likely your husband wanting to know what you’re having for dinner… You know? The same dinner you haven’t started yet?)

You get what I mean, right? Does this sound familiar?
These are the times in parenting that just make you want to scream. [click to continue reading…]

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Authors Note: If my daughter becomes a mother, there is nothing I would want more than for her to find the same support as I had from my local Mothers’ Center. This month the National Association of Mothers’ Centers turns 37. Mothers whose children grew up going to Mothers’ Centers with their mothers, are now becoming Mother Center members themselves – taking their own children to their centers. This post is not only to my daughter, but also shares my wish that Mothers’ Centers may continue to be there for my daughter if she too becomes a mother.

Are we looking at Three Generations of Mothers Center Members? Maybe!
Pictured above: Lori Zlotoff (Founder of the Forest Hills Mothers’ Circle) with her mother Karen Horowitz (Co-Founder of the
Sunrise Mothers’ Center) happily holding Lori’s daughter – her granddaughter, and Lorri Slepian (a NAMC founder)

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To My Daughter:

When I was a child I went swimming in the summer, I hid under my covers reading books until the crack of dawn, and my favorite subject was always art or music. I went to school, I passed notes, and my afternoons were often filled with practices for whatever particular sport I was involved in.

When I was little I had silly arguments with my sisters, the occasional power struggles with my parents, and days where I wanted to rebel against everyone’s expectations…

In hindsight, when I was young there was so much I had to learn.
Yet, I naively often thought I knew it all.

And then… years later…
You were born.

Questions Without Answers

And gradually all that I thought was either black and white, became a shade of gray.

Your birth, becoming a mother, opened my eyes to so much, yet also opened a big book of questions – questions that I expected answers to, but soon discovered were often without any clear solutions.

And questions whose fragile answers (if found!) could and would change at the drop of a pin.

Like a good student, I studied parenthood with high hopes to someday feel as though I had all the answers. And like a good student, I was beginning to be disappointed in my failure to “know it all” as your mom.

Until one day.

The one day that I finally realized something that had – until then – remained hidden from me. [click to continue reading…]

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Note: On Tuesday, January 24th, the National Association of Mothers’ Centers will be hosting a webinar as part of their Parenting and Family Webinar Series entitled: Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity: Navigating the Challenges for Parents, Teachers and Others. This upcoming webinar, in part, inspired me to talk about my personal experiences with gender stereotypes and parental expectations.

“It’s a… GIRL!”

Those were the first words I heard after working harder than I have ever worked in my entire life EVER to deliver my first child.

And the tears streamed down my face. Tears of joy. Tears of happiness. Tears of relief that my baby was seemingly heathy and… A GIRL!

A daughter! The excitement rushed through my body as I began to feel reassured about my newfound motherhood. My husband and I had chosen not to find out the sex of our 1st child prior to her birth, but secretly I realized I had hoped for a girl…

It’s a girl… I’m a girl… (not to restate the obvious but…) I know a little something about girls! (Right?) And instantly in my mind I felt more comfortable as a new mother.

As I held my daughter in my arms that first night of her life I envisioned our future as a mother and daughter. I idyllically pictured things like mother-daughter shopping trips, mani/pedi outings together, and the sharing of our wardrobe – all things I loved to do with my own mother, sisters and girl friends. Some day, my daughter and I would do all those things I loved together…

That night – the first night of my daughters life, and my first night of motherhood – strangely, it never occurred to me that my ideas might not always be a reflection of my daughter’s ideas. [click to continue reading…]

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~“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing
is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” 
~ Phyllis Diller

I have something to admit…

My daily “degree of sanity” often has a direct correlation with how organized and clean my surroundings are.

There. I admit it. I am one of those people who feel 10 times more:

• Capable and efficent
• Relaxed and energetic, and
• Ready to dive into my day

IF (and only IF) I begin my day feeling like things are in their place.

Obsessive compulsive? Maybe.

BUT there are positives to this. I actually like to organize things! Which means every so often I reorganize and, believe it or not, my closets can at times look like this:

However, sometimes, what sounds like a blessing, can also become a curse.
(More specifically, keeping a house organized and clean when you are a mother of three ridiculously messy kids.) [click to continue reading…]

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Do you know what time it is?

I do – or more precisely, my 5-year-old does – because over the holidays he got his first digital watch left by Santa in his stocking.

Shortly after receiving the watch, my husband and I began being bombarded by our son continually asking us: “Do you know what time it is?” It took us a couple instances to realize that he didn’t want us to answer with the time and instead wanted us to say: “No?! What time IS it?” so that he could quickly look down at his new watch to tell us Exactly. What. Time it was.

After a while it became the running family joke… someone would ask what time it was and myself or my husband would shout out for our middle son.

The excitement in his eyes that a.) he actually knew the current time, b.) he could be helpful, and c.) he could use his newest obsession present without relying on adult supervision is hard to fully explain in writing.

As the middle child, I think he sometimes feels as though he can never know quite as much as his older sister and is often “out-staged” by his baby brother. However, little does he know how many life lessons he has actually taught me that I could have never learned from anyone else. [click to continue reading…]

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