It was dusk. And all eyes were turned to the melting sun.
- People playing with their kids
- Others sipping a cocktail at the beach bar
- Couples snuggling together on beach towels stretched neatly across the sand
- Some swimmers, attempting to stay afloat on a stand-up paddle board
- A group of college students (who looked to be part of a cheerleading squad)
They all. Just. Stopped.
And within moments the entire shore was quiet – hundreds of people stopped talking, stopped laughing, stopped drinking, stopped playing on their phones, stopped worrying…
They all just stopped what they were doing…
To listen to the quiet, warm breeze
and the soft sound of the small waves as they swelled up on the sand
and to watch…
As the sun just melted into the water.
And my husband and I? We gazed in amazement at both the setting of the sun and it’s ability to seemingly stop time for everyone for just one moment.
And we were thankful, so thankful that we had made the last minute decision to stop and take in this moment.
30-Minutes Earlier
It was closing in on dinnertime during the last night of our short, 5-day getaway without kids. My husband and I had planned this trip for just the two of us what seemed like ages ago. And now, it was almost at an end.
We were on our way to enjoy a wonderful dinner at an amazing restaurant.
Our last visit to this restaurant was a near disaster (to say the least) and my husband and I had vowed we would come back to the restaurant again someday without kids.
Just envision a 30 minute drive, to a mostly adult dining atmosphere, with too-slow service (good service – but service meant for enjoying your meal, not for dinner with young kids) and three very noisy, squiggly, hungry, and somewhat tired children.
Yet this evening, we happened to be early for our dinner reservations for two. (That tends to happen when you don’t have 3 squiggly kids to worry about getting out the door!)
And on our way to the restaurant we made a last minute, split decision to stop at a favorite beach bar of ours for a quick drink and to watch the sunset.
What a great trip it had been – just the two of us… my husband and I.
And I remember thinking to myself as dusk approached how thankful I was.
- Thankful for my Mother-in-law (who was with our three children during our get away)
- Thankful to my own parents (who allowed us to use their vacation condo)
- Thankful to my husband (for supporting me through the crazy days just prior to our trip, as I tried to prepare both mentally and physically along with personally and professionally)
We pulled into the beach bar, enjoyed a drink, and waited for the sun to set. And all I could think about was how lucky and thankful I was to have this break.
2 Days Later
Back to reality.
Back to a full days work at the college I teach at as an adjunct instructor.
As happy as I am that I only have to leave my home for work one day a week – I found myself struggling with sadness because I was only able to see my children for about 2 hours the previous night after returning from our vacation. And now, the very next day, I had to be gone (again!) from them – at work from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.
My youngest child wasn’t awake when I left for work in the morning, and most likely he would already be in bed before I returned home in the evening.
A tear started down my check during my drive to the college and I thought to myself… was it worth it? Was our quick vacation without our kids really worth it?
Doubt and guilt began putting up a strong fight to enter into my thoughts.
I caught my breath and I sucked it up.
I was NOT going to let them in. NO GUILT. NO DOUBT. Go away! I said silently.
My husband and I needed that time! (I justified) We deserved that time… (I thought, with a bit of hesitation). I forced some reassurance by telling myself how tomorrow I would have all day with my youngest and I would see my other two children all evening.
And with a bit of sadness still clinging, I walk into my classroom to begin my day.
OK, let me pause to tell you a thing or two that I’ve learned over my last 11 years as a college instructor: College students can come up with a lot of excuses and reasons why they didn’t show up for class, didn’t finish an assignment, or aren’t able to get to class on time. A LOT.
And over the years – I have learned to not take this personally and to realize that failure can sometimes teach a student what success can’t.
So later that day, when one of my students came to visit me to tell me that he wouldn’t be able to turn in his homework assignment, I responded with a small sigh and a very “matter-of-fact” reminder to the student that he would not be able to make up the work (as stated in my syllabus for this assignment).
To my surprise this student (normally a very receptive learner) did not question my response. And as I looked into his eyes, I could tell that there was something else wrong – something that outweighed any 10-point homework assignment.
Out of concern I asked, “Is everything OK?”
He just stopped. And I noticed that same look of struggle in him that I had fought earlier today during my ride to school – that struggle to hold the tears back and to keep his emotions at bay.
He paused, and then slowly started to talk as I listened… in disbelief. Shortly after he had left my class last week, his girlfriend had been killed in a tragic car accident.
Homework? The fact that he had even come to school today and thought to tell me that he wouldn’t be able to turn in his homework amazed me.
And gratitude again entered my heart. A deeper sense of thanks.
- Thanks for my husband, my family, and my friends
- Thanks for the opportunities I’ve been given to work, travel, and also spend time with my kids
- Thanks for the ability to appreciate both the time I chose to give to my kids and to my husband
And amongst my student’s grief, I was again reminded of how grateful I was.
Thanksgiving: Giving Thanks
The beauty of a perfect sunset.
Time away to relax.
The health and well-being of those I care for.
Small things and big things alike, this Thanksgiving I am continually reminded of how important gratitude and appreciation is. And also how every moment (large or small) needs to count.
And, as I finished typing this post, I thought about how for one moment – as the sun was melting into the ocean – time can stop… but gratitude, gratitude should be never-ending.
What are you grateful for? What reminds you to remember the small things and big things alike that you should appreciate? Leave a comment to share your thoughts with others.
